Ok, I chickened out a little

I admit I chickened out a little bit, had this great speech planned and was even thinking of playing World of Warcraft again with him, but we got in a fight in the car. He was trying to ask me how I would feel if he went to a convention with a bunch of guys about, well, the parties I do. I politely reminded him that compared to him going away for "work" and hanging out in Petulama during spring break, or New Orleans during Mardi Gras or even going to the clubs in SanFanscico that he did not hang out in his hotel like I did and that the only time I left was to go to a place called Friendly's for dinner. I never raised my voice or got mad but he got defensive pretty quick (LOL actually he told me I was getting defensive) and was just pissy the rest of the day.

Put my foot down on one of his friends

Ok, sorry I have been away so long but between trying to get things going for school for me and my son going into kindergarten, not to mention this seems to be birthday season for the kids I just have not been able to concentrate.

The other night one of my husbands friends came over to play video games, he is young, single, no girlfriend and well nice, he doesn't seem to understand that sometimes when the wife goes to bed you should excuse yourself and leave. He stays to somewhere between 2-6am most times he comes over and the other day while laying in bed I heard just one more for the billionth time I got out of bed and kicked him out. Literally, I kicked him out and I hate to have to get well b****y with him but I could not take it anymore. We fought about it after he left and I was like this is ridiculous, once or twice a month is fine but 2-4 times a week, I pointed out that I am your wife not a roommate and this very much intrudes on my time especially when he works nights 1 or 2 nights a week on top of his friend all but living here.

So today my husband is in Tacoma (about 3 hours away) and I am home with the kids, which is fine he should have a break and is playing in a gaming tournament with this friend. I informed my husband last night that the games need to be cut back when he gets back. He needs to be off at least a few hours a day.

I did used to play World of Warcraft with him and I will probably start again soon but after we have set some gaming limits. I hope to start school online this October if I get the approval to use his GI Bill by than. He will need to step up and help more plus I am getting more leads for parties so I will definitely need his help. Wish me luck on setting boundaries with these games. He feels like I am being his mom but I feel like he is ignoring everything........Cross your fingers!!!

Sometimes I don't know...........

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if my husband was not addicted to video games. There are several woman that will probably read this and totally know where I am coming from and a few guys who are going to think "that sounds like my wife". We did learn a lot from the videos so now instead of yelling at each other all day long we are more respectful but since I have come home it seems like my husband has gotten more drawn into his games.

He will probably not agree with this statement but since he works one day shift, one night shift and than 2 days off his first day off starts this way, get off and home at 830, check his characters than go to bed, wake up around 3ish and jump on the computer, if I am lucky enough to have dinner done when he is not on a run or in a battleground he might eat with us; than back on the video game and of course he stays up till at least 230 playing since he slept most the afternoon. His next day off follows the same pattern and I do not know how to get him to see that he has ignored everyone all day.

So what do you do??? It seems like a stupid thing to argue about or even divorce over but I do not know how to get him to see my point of view.

The Problem with goning on Vacation

The problem with going on vacation is coming back. Within hours of getting home I was sitting in the ER with my youngest who had a ear infection. My husband was a little annoyed but seemed to be more annoyed with himself for being annoyed. That is a very confusing sentence but it was a 2 hour drive home (we were still at my moms) when I insisted on going to the ER since he was pulling his ears and crying and that would have been a very long drive home through the mountains. He than realized he was supposed to be at home and online at 9pm for his draft picks and felt guilty for feeling bad that he was going to miss it. My younger brother was available and picked his draft pick to help him out. I understand my husbands predicament; its like when you start out feeling annoyed because your kids woke you up from a dead sleep to find out later that they were really sick, there's guilt there.

Getting back in the routine with my kids is hard enough but since I babysit 3 more boys (getting a baby girl to babysit next week) has been difficult as well. I watch some good kids so it is not much of a complaint but to be totally honest I would rather just do my parties and spend my days hanging out with my kids and just hanging out. I would love to have time to go the gym or even drive to Portland to go the mall in the middle of the week. I keep thinking how much fun it would be to go to the zoo and since I only have one day off a week right now (planning on changing that soon) I tend to just "veg" on Sundays or try to get a lot of errands done. Going to convention has basically opened my eyes to how I really want to just do my parties and help other woman get the schedule they want too. So now time to come up with a game plan. Plus get better with my time still want to go back to school so for the next few months I will be babysitting 5 days a week, parties 3 days a week, school will be in there as well (online classes) and being a mom.

I'm Back

So much to catch up trying to keep it all straight. First we did finish the series and my husband is like it nailed me to a "T" and I hope you understood what he was saying. So I have to tell you if you have ever had more than one fight where he was saying, "you don't respect me," and "I feel like a paycheck" and you have said or thought "you don't love me" or probably more often "I don't feel appreciated" I totally recommend this series. It is Christian based and even though we are not active in any church it did not rub any body the wrong way. It was funny, easy to sit thru, each video has about 3 stopping points for group discussion which is what we aimed for when we watched it and we have not had a major argument in awhile and both seem to have a better understanding of the other. I will read a link to it at the bottom for those that are interested. I promise I don't know the guy so he is not paying me to say this it was recommended by the Chaplin and I believe we both took a lot out of it.

Second my trip. It was so great to get away and hang out with a bunch of For Your Pleasure Girls. So great, we had a few motivational speakers who deal directly with Direct Sales Belinda Elinsworth, who is a great speaker, funny, energetic with out being bubbly and annoying (you know the type they make a lot of exercise videos LOL), Steve Wiltshire who was very nice and does not quite have the same energy level but did have a lot of great information to share and Susie Bright will call her a pioneer in the adult toy industry. So great speakers, lots of females and a handful of husbands who were there to be supportive plus had a sitter for there kids for while they were gone. If you are over 18 and interested feel free to click here and check out my site.

Got home and my youngest stood there yelling at me for a few before I got my hug and believe it or not I had to distract my oldest from the video game. My husband surprised me at the airport which was great with my mom and we spent a little bit of time together until we realized the baby had a ear infection. So we took him to the ER before our two hour drive home. The house was very clean and I feel like I was missed. I just wanted to give a quick update and will go more into it when I have more time.

We have been slacking

This last week has been very busy so we are determined to start the 3rd video tonight. The first night we were supposed to start I was sooo very tired, I did not have my thyroid medicine for like 2 days and it wiped me out, the other night we went and watched Transformers together so tonight is the night.

I will be leaving next week for my first ever trip with no husband and no kids in like 9 years. I am nervous; I am married to a gamer who easily looses track of time while playing on the X-Box 360 or the computer. He has promised me not to play until the little monster is in bed. I am hoping this makes Zander a little less attached to my leg all the time (I love it but sometimes I need a break) and gives my husband a little more appreciation for what I do. I do not have a hard life by any means, I do not think the Lord has given me more than I can handle but I think my husband still has the few of a wife staying home watching TV, kicking back and not what it really takes to take care of our 2 boys (I also babysit 3 more boys Mon-Sat to help with the income).

I am excited to start tonight's video and will let you know how that goes.

Busy Week

We have finished video 2, hubby re-enlisted, finally got half off the money the shady girl owes me and I realize how tired I am of pinching pennies.

I hope my husband really paid attention to Video 2, its more of what a female needs and I am sure my husband wants me to pay attention to Video 3 which we will start on Sunday. There is one fight we always have and it is me saying "spend more time with me". He does see it as we are together all the time but to me he is in the same room and not with me. i married a gamer and I am ok with that but playing video games is sooooo not focusing on me. He explains this as woman needing face to face time and if you can just find a few minutes to do this your wife will be very happy. I also like how he explains that if when you are listing all the time together there is social time (family at the park, hanging out with friends, etc) and that going to the movie is shoulder to shoulder not face to face. Makes perfect since to me but I am hoping a man saying it in his manly way my husband picks up on it.

I brought my husband cup cakes when he did his oath today and reenlisted. I almost got him a cake but the bakery person was not there to make sure I was getting the frosting he likes. I felt kind of silly bringing cupcakes to a grown mans event but I felt very proud of him and know that he will see the gesture as something loving and not say this is what you bring to the kids school. I also know he works with a bunch of guys and simple is better. He was a little nervous about the term indefinite being on his paperwork but this morning woke up with a new perspective as in this is the last time I have to sign my life away. He can retire at 38 and that is a nice a fact for him and I am proud of him. He does not fight in a war but he does search and rescue and there are lots of people who are very grateful to him and my heart swells with pride, not a high paying job but that really doesn't matter he makes a difference in a positive way and we LOVE him.